Letting go. Oh, it is so difficult. I chain myself to the things I battle to surrender.
Whether I hold on to the plans I have for my future. Or whether it is my sin or a degrading pattern that I won’t give up. Or it could be holding onto pain and shame. It could be our family and friends. No matter what it is–I have found that we (I) like to cling tightly to these things.
Why? Maybe because of familiarity. Or comfort, or stability, or fear, or control.
And yet we are called to live a life of surrender, where our desires are actually not originally authored by ourselves.
“Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart.” (Psalm 37:4)
Some read this and take joy in the fact that, “As soon as I delight in God, I will have everything I want–my heart’s desires will finally be mine.” My less mature self used to read this verse in that fashion.
But the more I walk with Jesus, the more I delight in Him. And the more I delight in Him, the more I realize my desires and ambitions and dreams and satisfactions are actually defined by Him. They are in their very existence and essence–His. Because He changes us when we seek Him. And when we seek Him, we find Him (He promises so). And when we find Yawheh, how could we not delight in who He is?
Yet I wrestle the Lord to bind myself with the things which I don’t want to release.
Still I know: my freedom is found in surrender. What a beautiful paradox.
Lord, help me to surrender and let go. To take delight in greater things–in things of You. Amen.
Psalm 19:14-My frequent prayer seems to fit here.
Did you know that Dietrich Bonnhoeffer wrote a book of prayers and meditations on the Psalms? I think it is available on Kindle.
Peace be unto you, Kayla!
Daryl, thank you for contributing your thoughts. Psalm 19 certainly seems to fit here–what a good reminder to keep ourselves in a place of honoring the Lord with all of our lives. I will also have to look into Bonhoeffer’s book of prayers/meditations on Psalms, sounds very neat.
Blessings to you!
I have ordered a fresh translation from Christianbooks.com. When I get it, I may post a quote or two.